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The Only FAIR Tax is a FLAT Tax

In this enlightened age of equality, where even a Harvard Law graduate can become president, does it seem right to you that honest, hardworking job-creators have to pay a whopping 35% income tax, but the lazy, shiftless poor don’t pay anything at all?  Heck no, it’s not right!  But, thanks to Obama and his liberal congress, this is exactly what we have.

In fact, 47% of Americans don’t pay any income tax whatsoever.  On the other hand, the top 1% of Americans, most of whom aren’t even “rich” in the traditional sense, pay 38.9% to Uncle Sam, all by themselves.  But wait, it gets better: A full 97.01% of taxes are paid by the top 50%.  And the Democrats wonder why we’re in a recession!  Duh!

My fellow Americans, this is NOT what the founding fathers would have wanted.  In order to get America back on track, we need to have a flat tax, where everyone pays the same percentage in income taxes.  And we should cap it at 10%, just like tithing.

Cutting Taxes is the Courageous Thing to Do, Mr. Obama

In a speech today, Obama said the following:

“There’s nothing serious about a plan that claims to reduce the deficit by spending a trillion dollars on tax cuts for millionaires and billionaires…There’s nothing courageous about asking for sacrifice from those who can least afford it and don’t have any clout on Capitol Hill. And this is not a vision of the America I know.”

I must wholeheartedly disagree!  What America needs now isn’t clean air, quality education for our children, or cheap health care.  What we really need is to cut taxes for those of us who truly matter: wealthy capitalists who create jobs.

Take me, for instance.  I’m sure I’ve created hundreds of jobs over the years just by spending money on my vast, opulent estate.  I’ve personally poured tens of thousands of dollars into the Brazilian economy alone just by importing wood from their rain forests.  (It’s top notch, by the way!)  Or think of my butler, my driver, my personal masseuse.  Without me, they’d all be without a job!

If we want to create jobs for America, we need to give rich white guys like me a break.  With another round of Republican tax cuts for the rich, for instance, I could finally replace the floor of my indoor basketball court with pure marble.  And that would mean jobs for the the general contractor, the interior designer, the mason, the tile layer, and others.  Plus, it would look really swell.

So I’m calling out to every American, right now, to do the right thing.  The serious course, the courageous course, is laid out clearly before us: Cut Taxes Now!

Cut Taxes NOW to Create Jobs

If we cut taxes for billionaires now, it will immediately create 2 million new jobs within the next 48 hours!

This true fact was even featured on The Daily Show.  It’s so true that even the milquetoast libererals who run that godless TV show have to admit it!

Just how will 2 million new jobs be created within only 48 hours? It’s simple!  By cutting taxes on billionaires, they’ll be able to invest their capital in companies, which means those companies have more money available to hire people just like you.  And if we cut taxes now, the profits they make from those companies will get reinvested right into the good old American economy, over and over again.  The invisible hand of the free market will do the rest, and soon we’ll all be living in a free market paradise! Isn’t freedom great?

Go America!  Cut taxes for the so-called “rich” right now and watch as the economy moves forward at a fantastic pace!